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campylobacter's X-Files porn shack

TMI (too much information)

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(Frequently Unasked Questions) About Me

dyed bacterium on lab slideWhat's a campylosomething?

PRONUNCIATION: kam - PIE - low - bak - ter

Campylobacter jejuni, a double-flagellate, corkscrew-shaped bacterium, causes most of the cases of food poisoning in North America. Although far more common than salmonella, campylobacter is not usually as fatal.

Most of its victims experience some of these symptoms:

  • diarrhea
  • abdominal cramps
  • nausea
  • fever

Cook your chicken properly, or you'll be sorry.

What's with the pseudonym?

It reminds me of the episode "Our Town". Chaco Chicken: good people, good food.

My pseudonym actually does make homographic sense to those who know my real name. I chose the 'nym because I didn't want a ubiquitous fan alias (such as "Mulderpants" or "Frohikeyed"), or some pretentious palaver like "Dark Blade" or "Zephyr Wind". I like the idea of making people sick with my writing.

If folks can't type it, camp, camps, campy, cam, campers, wank, or jerkwad approximates it. I'll never know if you pronounce the thing "campy lob actor". I blame Halrloprillalar's 'nym for inspiring me to chose such a user-unfriendly nick.

Where is the hell is campy?

I'm a natural-born citizen of the United States of America, and have either resided or visited most states except the noncontiguous ones and New England. I've traveled once to visit an Asian country. My native tongue is English, but I'm also literate in French. I can muddle my way through German and Latin. My Spanish is a disaster.

Who the fark do you think are?

I was born in 1968, as a Libra with Scorpio rising and a Scorpio moon.

I have an undergraduate degree, a full-time career, a cat, and a spouse.

What kind of fanfic do you like?

I'm an X-Files canon Nazi, a grammarian, and a Mary Sue hater.

I'm a 'shipper, dipper, dripper, skipper, slipper, ripper, slasher, noromo, and Gunfan; in short, a "Generalist". I don't have a One True Pairing (OTP) preference; if the characters are having consensual sex, I'm happy. If they're not having sex, I've been known to read that stuff, too.

I prefer:

  • weird tales
  • short stories
  • spooky scenes
  • experimental fiction
  • parodies
  • pastiches
  • humoresques
  • lists

I avoid:

  • "character replacement with author's self-insertion" stories (especially "Mary Sues")
  • schmoop
  • real person fic
  • MPREG (male pregnancy)
  • rape stories (or most nonconsensual depictions of sex)
  • song fic
  • torture fic
  • interminable works in progress

Won't you cough up the real dirt about yourself?

If you really want to get to know me, you'll find out more than you ever wished by following these links:

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