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campylobacter's X-Files porn shack

I seek the disapproval of the mainstream
and the envy of the mediocre

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Get My Attention

bacteria

Cook your chicken, or I'm gonna git ya!

If you fear that I'll give you food poisoning if you leave me "negative" feedback or a flame, you flatter yourself. I'm a single-celled organism; I have neither feelings to hurt nor an ego to deflate. I prefer to receive flames, criticisms, and insults.

Archive Me?

I grant permission for you to publicly mock me or my fanfic. There's no such thing as bad publicity! I'd be thoroughly flattered in any case if anyone wants my dreck to take up space on their server. If you notify me, I'll be able to notify you if my contact info ever changes.

I'm adamant about only one condition of archiving me: my works are for non-commercial purposes ONLY. Any attempt to profit financially from them will invite my wrath and my lawyer. If I'm dead and you use my work to make yourself money, I will haunt you in the form of a malignant demon and you will suffer incurable maladies.

Get Ignored

Please note that any email I receive with "Viagra", "enlarge", "mortgage",or "work from home" in the header may be deleted before I see it. If you type "campy, your story sucks" in the subject line, I'll be sure to read it.

Linking to Me

You don't need my permission to link to my site or pass around my URL. I am especially interested in being blacklisted, so feel free to ban my fic for any reason. You can also alienate your friends and neighbors by displaying a campy pimp on your website!

campy's porn shack

I promise to start writing more X-Files fan fiction that is tasteless, bizarre, offensive, deficient, and unfit for general consumption.

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