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Wedding Fit for a Princess

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TITLE -     Wedding Fit for a Princess (1/1)
SPOILERS -  your dinner, and The Truth
KEYWORDS -  Mulder/Scully; Margaret Scully/Skinner; Doggett/Reyes
SUMMARY -   Scully and Mulder gets married.
SIZE -          7.2k / 1108 words
DISCLAIMER -    I'm breaking the law here. Someone arrest me.

Cover Art

I needed to convey cheesy, schmoopy, blatantly manipulated eye candy for a digital "dust jacket", so I used Photoshop to blend:

Mulder + Scully = Luv
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I treasure the great comments this story has inspired:

  • "Good LORD, that is wrong on so many levels! Congratulations."

  • "...was slightly alarmed at the thought of 'satan flowers'."

  • "That was laugh-out-loud funny. Thanks!"

  • "This was such a big ball of wrong, I don't even know where to begin."

  • "Oh, my. There are no words."

  • "That is truly one of the most horrible things I've read in my entire life."

  • "Much, much funnier than any real wedding I've ever been to."

  • "if only you could see the tears in my eyes..."

  • "Oh, dear GOD!!!"

  • "I am chalked and awd each of them both at the same time."

  • "Rating: JD for jaw-dropping, MB for mind-boggling MSR. Words fail to describe this piece of art. Just don't write to me when you've finished reading it. And yes, that is their actual email address. So go ahead, write them for more. I dare you." - Dryad, archivist of The Grove

  • "I almost hurt myself..."

  • "...I assumed you were from another country..."

  • "...won of the fungiest I've never red..."

  • "That is, without a doubt, the worst story I have ever read."

  • "It is my con ceased oh pious that Emmy steroid that Constantine's Alex Krycek adze Fox Mulder's beast mon can nit bee awl bed."

A few of the comments it inspired at FanFiction.net make life worth living.

  • "Wow..you need to work on your spelling...
    feinted...ascot...Scully felt like her _harp_ was going to bust out of her dress... looks just like an _angle_...In the distant...Her white _satan_ dress ... PLEASE tell me that this was some kind of joke and you made all of those on purpose..."

  • "What is up with that Grammar! It's absoltely HORRID! You have a very good story but it was barely readable!"

  • "...I thought your spell check had had a nervous breakdown..."

  • "...a loud sigh of frustration and disgust..."

My all-time favorite:

"I hate to flame, I really do. But this story needs a little bit of work. It's a really good start, but there are some problems. To begin with, there are no spelling mistakes, but there are dozens of times where you misused words (ie involve, not evolve...) Secondly, Scully is a little bit out of character. And one other minor detail: the Lone Gunmen died, so it would be rather impossible for them to be Mulder's best men. I like the idea, though."


Nominee of the 2003 Spooky Award for Outstanding Humor

I entered "Wedding Fit for a Princess" into the Spookys as a prank, because I was under the impression that badfic parodies were ineligible. The story didn't win, place, or receive an honorable mention, but it was a nominee, ranking with some "big names". Hey, if Deslea didn't even get an Honorable Mention in this category, I shouldn't feel bad.

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Reading Level

According to Microsoft Word '98, this story has a 2nd semester Second Grade reading level on the Flesch-Kincaid formula. That means a 7-or 8-year-old should be able to read this story. Let's pray they can write better.

Word readability statistics


At the time I wrote this story, there was discussion on the WhyIncision mailing list about humorous errors in authentic badfic posted to alt.tv.x-files.creative. I'd also been a introduced to hilarious badfic parodies in 1998 by the now defunct "Badfic Hall of Shame" website. Having read a large sample of XF fanfic, I felt I was ready to tackle a badfic of my own. I took the advice found at Bad Fanfic! No Biscuit!

Bad Fanfic! banner

Beta Readers?

Obviously, publishing this story without someone to proofread it would only enhance its "style". There's an unintentional error ("Assistant" is misspelled) that I noticed after posting. All other errors (grammatical, syntactical, logistical) are intentional, and total 200.

Someday, when I'm wrestling writer's block, I'll list every error and use it as a beta reader test.

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