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home > archive of updates > tuesday, april 1, 2003

Satan made me do it

I used to HATE Assitant Director Alvin Kersh. And I hated him even more when he was promoted to Deputy Director. He was one-dimensional, petty, manipulative, unreasonable, and in need of a good spanky spanky.


But I've learned to love him.

In fact, I'm obsessed with him. I want to slash him with Skinner and Doggett and Frohike and my high school football coach. I want to dress him in tight little skirts and a Boy Scout bandana. I want to place him in a Titanic crossover as Jack.

But for now, I'll settle for him shopping for tampons. I'm giving you fair warning: Tampons for Men may quite possibly be the worst piece of fanfic you'll ever read. But at least Reyes gets to fuck his shit up.

By the way, this story could have been worse -- the first draft, titled "Package of Twelve", didn't have Reyes or CSM at all. They were a teenaged girl and a fat aunt, respectively.

Thank me later.


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